“A Native American grandfather was talking to his grandson about how he felt. He said, ‘I feel as if I have two wolves fighting in my heart. One wolf is the vengeful, violent one, the other wolf is the loving compassionate one.’ The grandson asked him, ‘Which wolf will win the fight in your heart?’ The grandfather answered, ‘The one I feed.'”

– Blackhawk

I feel like that a lot at the moment. As if there are two of me inside both fighting over the scrap of my body remaining. I have to be conscious every moment about the one that I choose and the actions which I take. This year has been a difficult one, but I feel it all stemmed from my visit to India. It is certainly true what they say, that speaking with a great spiritual being such as the Dalai Lama or the Karmapa can cause old karma to ripen. I think that has certainly happened for me. Of course, that isn’t taking away my responsibility but just acknowledging how this all began.

I really need to get back into my photography. I feel as though I’m missing something. A part of me. But tell me, what is there to photograph in Cincinnati, OH? Nothing really, is there? I just can’t for the life of me fathom anything but trees and more trees. And I am NOT a nature photographer. It is hard having a child that I need to care for, so that I need to do any escapades before noon. Rather limiting. Perhaps I will go investigating and see if I can find any.. people. *shrug*

I am exhausted today. Not really in a positive frame of mind, but trying to force myself. Fake it until you make it, right?

“There are two primary choices in life: to accept conditions as they exist, or accept the responsibility for changing them.” – Denis Waitley