I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately–just quietly thinking. I am very sick at the moment, with something that has yet to be diagnosed. I think it’s probably more autoimmune stuff, nevertheless it’s very disturbing to find myself ebbing away like this again.

My mind returns often to India and the peace and calm surrounding Dolma Ling and the nuns. I long to stroll out into the fields behind and lose myself amongst the long stems of wheat and barley. I long to awaken to the silence of the towering mountains, disturbed only by the call to prayer and the rythmical chanting of devotion.

It is a feeling I will never forget. A moment I will never forget. A journey that I could never forget even if I should try. India changed me, in ways I am still not sure of. The people I met changed me, the things I saw, the sounds and smells… all of it.

I forgot about illness and stress when I was over there. But since being back I’ve undergone over $6000 worth of testing and treatment. Luckily my insurance still pays most of the tab (though not all) and I hope that this round will be the last for a while…

At least, that is my prayer.

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