I have a bad case of the ‘flu. Part of me feels as though it’s related to everything else that’s going on; all the changes I’m encountering. I’m clearing out my life–though it feels in a way as though I abandoned everyone. I haven’t. Not really. My phone is broken, but I think I’m getting a new one today (free with the phone my husband is getting for his business, so I don’t feel guilty) so I’ll be available again. I also have my specialist follow up on Friday, and I’m really scared about that. I think that’s partly shutting me down. Whatever she says I’m going to be upset…

I don’t understand how to integrate Buddhist thought and illness. I’m not talking about getting a cold or what have you, but serious, life-threatening illnesses. Are they our choice? Are they Karma? Do we have to die that way?

*sigh*

There’s a lot on my mind right now… a lot.

死は我々にとっては何でもない。我々が存在するうちは、死はまだ訪れていないし、死が訪れた時には、我々はいないのだから。