Today I am freaking out. I suddenly realized last night that going to India will take me away from my boys for TWO WEEKS. I suddenly just felt like there is no way that I can do this. No way that I can leave Phoenix (or D) for that long. I don’t think I’ve been away from either of them for more than a few hours or a day. *gulp*

I also don’t feel so hot today. I guess my costochondritis has been bad the past couple of days (making sleeping hard) and today my rash is a little worse than it’s been (and considering it’s been barely noticeable, that’s something). I see the specialist in a week, and I’m trying not to think about that.

My period is late.

No one has got back to me from school yet. So, I’m a little worried about that. Bureaucracy sucks. So much red tape involved in everything. Luckily I personally know all the people involved in this, so hopefully they’ll know that I’m not pulling a fast one. (Even Dr B knows the ombuds, so any question and they could just call her).

This is all so much flotsam.

I decided that I really need to lose weight before I go to India. Plus I need to get a little fitter. After all, we’re going to be right at the foot of the Himalayas. I just can’t decide if I’m doing the right thing, or whether I’m being totally selfish. D doesn’t think so… but I wonder if he’s just saying that? To appease me?

It does mean that I can’t do that ‘history of Buddhism’ class, but that’s okay. I’m actually thinking of taking a whole extra year to graduate. I mean who gives a crap? Not me, really. I’d rather look after myself, have awesome experiences, such as going to India, and take it slowly.

Really.

That reminds me…

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