Momentous decisions.

I think I am dropping out for the rest of this quarter. There’s no way I can sit three exams on 4 hours of sleep. I can barely make coherent sentences, nevermind study history, Japanese, and whatever else I’m supposed to. I know I’m… letting everyone down, but I am going to have (another) nervous breakdown if I don’t.

I don’t know if this will impact the trip, but I can’t go on like I am. I am way behind in everything. At least this way I can finish up the incompletes I have and get on an even keel before the start of next quarter. Besides, I have my specialist appointment in a couple of weeks, and I’m not really looking forward to that.

Does it really matter if I take an extra quarter? An extra year? Probably not as much as I think it does.

Right now I am falling apart, quietly. That’s dangerous because I know that sooner or later it’s going to come and slap me upside the head and I’ll be in deep doodoo. Or deeper doodoo at least.

I don’t know how to work it, or who to talk to. But I know that Monday will be spent working this out. I need to get my medications sorted so that I can feel better on a consistent basis–instead of this off again on again feeling. Hurting one day, not so bad the next.

I don’t know. Maybe I’m just set to fail. Afterall, that’s what everyone always told me.

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