I am so exhausted and I feel so… forgotten. I don’t even know if anyone is reading this anymore. Maybe that’s how it should be. Maybe I’m just meant to fade away. I hurt, I’m tired, I’m sick of being sick…

but maybe there’s nothing wrong with me at all.

I did badly in my Japanese test today. I knew it, I just couldn’t keep up with her reading to answer the question. It’s like my brain is switched off. I feel sick. I feel exhausted. I feel like ….

I wish something major would happen to me. Something that took me to the hospital in an ambulance so that they could just out and tell me what the fuck is wrong.

I don’t think that’s going to happen… and I don’t think there’ll be anyone around even if it does. I’ve truly never felt as alone in my life as I do now. Never.