I am just one person. I have been posting news articles in this blog for 2 years, including my trip to Dharamsala in 2007. I find it hard to post reports on the Tibetan issue because I feel my view is not valid or taken into account. I am a Westerner and as such have no place getting involved in the affairs of Tibetans.
But, I just want to help. Tibet and her people are very close to my heart–for many, many reasons that go back to my childhood. Another part of this, is that I know what it’s like to be beaten and abused, I know what it’s like to be imprisoned, and I know what it’s like to lose my country.
But, I am just one person.
One small person who does what she can but whose actions change nothing. Sure, my videos are “nice” and “supportive” and my words are thrown out into the chasm of cyberspace, but I can change nothing.
And it frustrates me. Chinese people tell me I don’t know what I’m talking about, Tibetan people tell me I don’t know what I’m talking about–because I’m foreign to their worlds.
Torture and suppression is the same the world over. I know what I’m talking about… and I want to help.
But, I’m just one person.
This blog has come to be my only avenue for spreading the word about Tibetan issues. I’ve been part of other movements, but they always contain too much ego. Too many “big men” looking for fame and risking the integrity of the cause. I don’t know what to do. I have no money. I have no skill other than compassion and a desire to right the wrongs.
I’ve taught myself some Tibetan, but I live far from any communities where I can offer even basic assistance. Part of me feels that I am not wanted in the cause–only my money is wanted. That’s harsh to say–but, when I’ve been told that I am the wrong ethnicity to “understand” how am I supposed to feel??
Do Tibetans really feel that way? That Westerners are not welcome in their fight? I know already how the Chinese feel about me from comments left on this blog and my youtube and facebook accounts as well as threatening emails and viruses sent to me.
I don’t know. Maybe I’ve got all of this wrong–but maybe I’m not welcome, and I’d rather know now….